


A Frostbitten Heart

by kakashi_hatabae



Series: A Frostbitten Heart [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hate to Love, Mystery, Some Humor, some language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-11-23 15:10:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11404986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashi_hatabae/pseuds/kakashi_hatabae
Summary: At first you thought nothing could thaw your frozen heart...but then along came the man you have hated since your childhood - Kakashi Hatake.





	1. What Started It All

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you will enjoy my first part to my first ever fic! Don't be afraid to comment about any misspelling or things that I got wrong.  
> I will hopefully update this in a week, so stay tuned for more!

It was so... cold.  
You’ve dealt with frigid weather before with the Land of Iron being the place you resided, but nothing like this. You attempted to wrap your scarf tighter around your neck, but your hands stayed glued in your pockets, afraid of the outside’s unforgiving sting. You had to keep moving; your life depended on it. Tears still clouded your eyes from the events that had occurred less than half an hour ago. The shrill sound of screaming, the hushed whispers of your mother telling you to run, the smell your village burning - all of it was still racing through your head. Everything started to spin, causing you to collapse to your knees into the numbing snow. A sob made it’s way through your chest, but you pushed it down and screamed in agony instead. The freezing wind blew past your ears, drowning out the sound. You screamed until your chest was burning and your lungs were begging for air. Drawing in a sharp breath of the polar air, you curled up into a ball, warm tears escaping from your eyes. It was hopeless. You couldn’t see anything in this blizzard, and you had no clue as to which way you were traveling.  
You were going to die.  
Closing your eyes and accepting your fate, you remembered the night before this all happened. Everything was so peaceful before now. “See you soon, mother and father…” your voice crackled out, as you slowly drifted out of consciousness.  
   
\---  
   
They were too late. First failed Anbu Mission in a while, and young Kakashi was fuming with rage. They were assigned to hurry to a village located in The Land of Iron to prevent powerful Rogue Ninja from destroying it. Simple task and yet, they still didn’t make it in time. After the snow storm had died down, Kakashi ordered his two team members to spread out and look for survivors. But to his dismay, one by one they reported back to him that no survivors could be found and that all of the villagers had been brutally slaughtered. He scanned over his team members masked faces: Itachi Uchiha and Tenzō. Even with a mask over Kakashi’s face, they could both tell that he was very disappointed.  
“The only thing we can do now is report back to Lord Hokage.” Kakashi deadpanned, turning to face away from them. After a moment of silence, Kakashi leaped away into the trees weighed down with snow. The two turned to face each other after Kakashi had left, and after a small nod that Tenzō gave to Itachi, they went after the silver haired ninja.  
   
    So far, the trip back to the village had been a silent one, until something caught Itachi’s eyes. A small sized lump was in the snow off to his right, with what looked like part of a scarf hanging out of it. Before he could communicate to Kakashi about this, Kakashi had raised up his right hand, causing the group to come to a sudden stop. He had seen it too. They hastily jumped down from the trees and made their way to the bump. Now surrounding the particular part of the snow, Kakashi turned to Tenzō and nodded his head for him to cautiously move forward.  
After doing so, he got down on his knees and scooped up a handful of  snow off of you, revealing to the group your unconscious face. “It’s just a kid… doesn’t look like she’s even 13 years old yet,” Tenzō whispered as he removed more packed snow from your body. He then moved his fingers to the pulse point in your neck and let out a small gasp. “She’s still alive, but barely hanging on.”  
“She must be from the village that was attacked.” Itachi replied, helping Tenzō sit you up against a nearby tree. The three Anbu stood around your dead-like body, wondering what to do next.  
“Tenzō,” Kakashi began, wrapping your scarf back around your neck, “you will carry her until we get out of this weather. Then, we will set up camp and see if we can get any information from her.” He paused for a minute, backing away from your body and surveying your face. “Let’s go now before she ends up dead.”  
   
   
The first thing you could remember hearing was the low murmur of three different voices. Then it was the faint boom of your heartbeat in your ears, along with the small crackles of a nearby fire and crickets chirping. You had so many questions. What was going on? How were you still alive?  
Who had saved you?  
‘Open your eyes!’ You shouted in your head, but nothing happened. ‘Move your arms… do something… anything!’  
As you were struggling, you managed to let out a small whimper, causing the murmuring voices die down. “She’s awake,” you heard one of the voices say.  
“Listen to me.” A different voice this time. It sounded more demanding. “You need to open your eyes.”  
It was blurry at first, but your eyes quickly adjusted to the three masked faces above you. ‘Anbu of the Leaf...” you thought, ‘why did they save me?’ The Anbu closest to you had light gray hair and a white mask with some red and black markings on it, resembling a dog. The two behind the first one had similar masks, but different markings and animal shapes. They also had different colored hair; one had brown hair and the other had black hair. Besides their differences, they had the same uniform on, which was expected from these types of ninja. “You three are Anbu at your age?” You asked with a snarky tone. It seemed as if the Anbu closest to you was only a couple years older than you, and the boy with the darker hair was even younger than you.  
“That doesn’t matter,” The younger boy began, “we need to know if you are feeling any better.”  
“I’m a little dizzy, but I’ll be okay.” You stared back at the masked faces completely confused. “You are Leaf Anbu. So... why were you all the way out in the Land of Iron?” The brown haired boy spoke this time with a calm and steady voice.  
“We came out on a mission to save a village in The Land of Iron from an attack caused by Rogue Ninja.” Your eyes started to water hearing this. “We saved you and brought you out of the cold to see if you were from that certain village.”  
“Yes I am from that certain village.” Your voice had now turned sour and tears started to run down your face. “Why weren’t you there sooner? Why did you let all of my friends and family die?” You had heaved yourself off the ground to stand up and pushed the brown haired Anbu. Just before you could do it again, the silver haired boy grabbed your arms and held them down to your sides.  
“If you want to push anyone around, push me.” You looked up at the Anbu in shock. “I am the leader of this group. It is my fault that we didn’t get to the village sooner.” You shook his grip off of you in disgust and fell back onto the grass to look up at the stars. ‘No snow…’ You thought, ‘What a strange feeling.’  
“I know this might be difficult for you, but since I am the leader it’s best if you listen to me.” You kept staring up at the twinkling stars and dark night sky. You hated to admit it, but you had it listen to him if you wanted to survive. If you didn’t, you would be left out here all alone to defend for yourself.  
“We will leave in the morning to head back to the Leaf Village. While you are there, we will take you to the Hokage and you will tell him everything you know about the ninja’s that attacked your village. Then he will decide what to do with you next.” The three Anbu stared down at you waiting for your response. You started to think about how hard it would be living on your own without your parents to take care of you. Maybe you could become a Hidden Leaf Ninja… but be even better than the three that stood around you. You wiped the tears from your eyes and blinked away the sting that they had left.  
“Fine.”  
You had shot some noise into the deafening silence. “I will go with you, but know this -” You turned your head sharply to your left where the dog-masked Anbu stood and looked into the dark holes were his eyes would be.  
“When we reach your village, I never want to hear your voice ever again.”  
   
\---  
   
It had been 12 years since the attack of your village. You had moved on since then, but every now and then you would sneak out of the Hidden Leaf and go to see the charred but snowed-over remains of your old home. And every single time you went, you were reminded of the silver-haired weasel that had failed to save your village. He had listened to you as you had listened to him, and after he had dropped you off in the Hokage’s office, you never saw him again.  
He was the one who had driven you to become the strong Jonin that you were today. Everyday in Academy you strived to become better than that certain Anbu, causing you to study hard each and every night and to train until you laid passed out on the floor. After Academy, you quickly went up in the ranks by passing the Chunin Exams with flying colors. Almost as soon as you became Chunin, you were pushed up to Jonin. After that, you usually went on solo missions which created the nickname you had today - The Lonely Ninja. You hated that nickname, but it spread like wildfire across the different nations. Almost everyone knew you - not just because of the nickname, but because of your outstanding skills as a ninja. You had failed not one mission given you to you by the Hokage, and that was going to stay that way - even if you had to die trying.  
   
At first, it had been like any other day. You dressed in your favorite black tank top and slipped on your Jonin pants and sandals. Turning to your right, you then grabbed your Jonin vest and zipped it up, looking at your bedside table where a picture frame resided. In the picture was your father and mother along with eight-year-old you in between them. You had found it in the ruble the fourth time you had gone back to visit your village. The sides were a bit burnt, but you had given it a new frame and called it good.  
‘Simpler times…’ you thought to yourself, grabbing your leaf headband and tying it snug around your right thigh, with the Hidden Leaf symbol facing front.  
   
   
As you were about to open the Hokage’s door you hear a bright, yet annoying voice come from the other side. “A new mission, and B-ranked too!” The voice screeched out. “I will complete this mission with not one scratch on me, believe it!”  
“I just can’t believe another Jonin will be joining us as well…” This voice came from a girl this time, and it was a lot calmer. “And it’s a woman too! I wonder if she could teach me any of her skills.”  
“Does it matter?”  
This voice was like a crackle of thunder on a bright sunny day. It was filled with almost no emotion and it echoed in your ears. “I just wish they would both get here already so we can leave.” Just when they were about to start fighting, you swung open the door and looked down at the three. ‘Genin?!’ You thought. “What is going on here?”  
“Ah, Y/N, just in time.” The Third’s voice sounded on edge, as if he was about stick his hand in a hungry lion’s den. “Meet Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha. They will be accompanying you on your next mission.”  
“Accompanying me!? But I-”  
“Yes I know, you work alone” The Hokage urged, cutting you off. “But these Genin need more experience, and I know that you will want to go along with them for this mission. You will not be the only leader - another Jonin is on his way as we speak. He is the original leader of this squad.” You looked down at the so-called ‘squad’ in front of you. They were all looking up at you in wonderment, including the more reserved ninja, Sasuke.  
“Y-y-you are Y/N L/N,” Naruto hesitated, “the one k-k-known as… T-The Lonely Ninja!” You blinked your eyes and gave him a confused look. Not a lot of younger kids knew you, so this was surprising.  
“NO WAY!” Sakura shouted beaming with joy. She pushed her hands to her cheeks and let out a squeal. “You are one of my idols! I can’t believe you’re going on a mission with us!”  
“Neither can I, kid.” You grumbled. “So, Lord Hokage,” you turned back to the Third, with an unpleasant look on your face, “Who’s the original leader of this squad?”  
“That would be Kakashi Hatake.” It happened to be that you have heard of this man before. He had made himself known just like you, also with a nickname, Kakashi of the Sharingan, or maybe sometimes referred to as The Copy Ninja. “You might even know him,” The Third puffed on his pipe, “He is a former member of the-”  
“Sorry I’m late.”  
The voice entering the room behind you made you get goosebumps. It couldn’t be…  
“I heard a lot of commotion. What’s going on?”  
You quickly swung around and met the man face to face. That voice… that hair… with a mask on he would look just like…  
“It’s you.”  
“Right…” Kakashi gave you his signature closed-eye smile and started to scratch his head. “You must have heard about me. I’m-” Your cold voice suddenly cut through his.  
“The Anbu who killed my family.”


	2. Getting to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit long, so buckle up!  
> Just to note, I am creating my own character, so I will be adding a couple things in that are not apart of the original story line (but some of you already knew this - no surprise there)  
> Oh and I should also add this if you don't quite catch on, these things,  
> \---  
> mean that some time as past.  
> Hope you enjoy and don't be afraid to correct me on my spelling or anything I get wrong!

Kakashi opened his uncovered eye in shock and his masked smile quickly disappeared.

Your breathing quickened and you pressed your hand up against the wall to prevent you from falling, still maintaining the eye contact you had with him. “I thought I-” You stumbled on your words, not believing what was happening. “I-I told you that I never wanted to hear your voice e-ever again.” Kakashi took a step back, realizing who you were. Tension started to build in the room; it was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Killed…?” Sakura had managed to squeak out.

“Anbu?” Sasuke questioned.

“I don’t believe it…” Kakashi mumbled, his eye searching over you, “You’re the girl my team and I saved from the village that was attacked many years ago.” Everyone around you was confused, except for Hiruzen. He knew that this was going to happen between you two, and he was studying your reaction very carefully.

“Wait… I don’t get all of this.” Naruto’s voice suddenly chimed in, squinting his eyes at the two of you. “You’re saying that Kakashi-sensei killed your family, but Kakashi-sensei is saying that he saved you?”

“Naruto you idiot!” Sakura’s hand connected with the back of Naruto’s head making a loud thumping noise. “Be quiet - this does not concern you!” ... ‘Even though,’ She thought to herself, ‘I am pretty curious myself.’

“No, it’s okay,” you turned to face the Third now, “you’ll have to know why you kids will not be going through with this mission.” The Hokage’s eyes stayed trained on you. He wasn’t surprised at all by what you said. In fact, he was expecting it.

“This man,” you spat out, slowly raising your hand to point at the silver-haired ninja, “Is responsible for my parent’s and friend’s deaths.” The Hokage quickly moved his eyes to Kakashi, waiting for his response. All Kakashi could do was look at the floor. “He failed to save my village from an attack that happened over 10 years ago. I hope you can see as to why I cannot do a mission with this group, and request to go solo instead.”

Naruto was furious upon hearing this. “WHAT?! This is NO FAIR!” He yelped out in frustration. “I was told that I was going on this B-ranked mission and now I’m not?! I already packed and everything!”

“I hate to admit it,” Sakura stepped in, “but Naruto is right. Captain Y/N can’t just exclude us from the mission so suddenly, right Lord Hokage?” The two Genin swirled around to face the Hokage now, both looking at him eagerly. Although this was happening, Sasuke stayed facing you and Kakashi. 

‘Kakashi-sensei was apart of the Anbu… interesting.’ he thought. ‘I wonder for how long.’

“Naruto and Sakura are right, Y/N.” The Third’s eyes now went back to you. “Even if you could, you will not do this mission alone.” When you went to protest, his hand raised up to silence you. “I will not hear another word from you. Either you do this mission with the squad I have given you, or I will find another Jonin to go along with them instead.” Now it was your turn to look at the floor. You were embarrassed by the way you had disrespected the Hokage; you were acting like a child and you mentally cursed yourself for doing so.

“I apologize Lord Hokage,” you responded, looking up to face him again, “but why didn’t you just find a different Jonin to go with them in the first place?”

“Because,” the Third took a pause to take a puff from his pipe, “I knew that you would become cross with me if I didn’t send you with them. This mission has something to do with the  Rogue Ninja that attacked your village.”

“T-The what?!” You gasped out in surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“You were to busy being worried about the man you  _ claim  _ to be responsible for your village’s destruction for me to even utter a word!” The Hokage snapped. He was right again… how could you have let your feelings intrude with your job? You were so taken aback by silver-haired weasel to even think about why the Hokage had called you into his office in the first place.

“I apologize again for my actions Lord Hokage,” you whispered, “and if you will let me, I accept the mission with this squad.” Kakashi looked up from the floor to stare at you, astonished. He had thought for sure you would continue to beg for a solo mission; you were The Lonely Ninja, after all. Naruto and Sakura let out a little hoot of excitement, even Sasuke cracked a small smile.

“I knew you would say that Y/N.” The Third took a long puff of his pipe and exhaled the smoke, letting it swirl around his head. “Now listen up.” 

Everyone was now looking at the Hokage, waiting for the missions details. 

“Just near The Land of Fire’s border close to The Land of Iron, is a small village known as The Village of Celebrations.” He informed. “Just recently, the leader of this village has become concerned about rumors that a gang of Rogue Ninja is planning to attack the village - the same gang that attacked yours, Y/N.” You sighed and your eyes darted around the room. This all seemed so strange to you. You had known the village the Hokage was speaking of - you went there more times than you could count with your parents for different celebrations. Kakashi had noticed your behavior, and watched you move back against the wall and lean your head back to look up at the ceiling. 

You had seen that the Jonin next to you was now scanning your face, and quickly turned your head to look back at him. Just when you did, he moved his uncovered eye back to the Hokage and shifted his weight under your gaze.

“You will stay in the village for three days, surveying the outside and inside.” The Hokage instructed. “By the third day, you will check with the leader to see if he feels safe enough for you to leave. If not, you will stay as long as needed. If so, you will return back to the village and report to me.”

“Let’s not waste anymore time,” you insisted, keeping your eyes on Kakashi. “We will meet out by the village’s gate in two hours. That should give everyone enough time to get ready.”

“Right!” Sakura and Sasuke announced, while Kakashi nodded his head. You looked over to the only one who didn’t speak, and noticed that his head was tilted to the side in disappointment. 

“I’m  _ already  _ packed…” Naruto groaned, but Sakura quickly put him back in line with another hit to the back of his head.

“Then find something else to do in the meantime!” She shouted. “Don’t complain you big baby!”

Just before you were about to exit, you turned to Kakashi and looked at him in the eye. He returned the same gesture, wondering what you were thinking about at the moment. “Just don’t get in my way, Copy Ninja” You commanded.  The room grew silent again, and Kakashi said nothing as you walked out the door and stormed down the hallway.

It stayed this way until the three Genin decided to leave as well. Kakashi stayed by the door watching his students leave and was about to leave himself, when the Hokage beckoned him back into the room. “I’m sorry she treated you that way, Kakashi,” he apologized, “she doesn’t usually show her feelings.” Kakashi nodded his head, accepting the apology.

‘I deserve it after what I did.’ he thought to himself. ‘Why did I insist that we take a break on our way to her village? I was so childish…’

“Although it might be difficult,” the Third began, cutting off Kakashi’s thoughts, “I want you to try and keep an eye on her during this mission. She is a valuable asset to this village, and I would hate for her to end up dead. Since this involves her past, she might want to do something rash that could endanger her life. You understand, correct?” 

Kakashi did understand. He used to be the same way, always thinking that the mission came first and nothing else. “I hate to ask,” Kakashi questioned, “but why not send her with another group? Why do you want her with our squad instead?”

“I knew that you two would eventually meet, and I wanted to be there when you did.” The Hokage stated, puffing again on his pipe. “You’re really the only one she dislikes in this village, and it’s better if she gets along with everyone. Who knows what could have happened if you two had met without my supervision.” Kakashi lowered his head at this statement. ‘The only one…?’

“Don’t get discouraged,” the Third cackled, “that isn’t the only reason.” Kakashi raised his head back up, awaiting more information. “Another is that your students need more experience. Even though it is a high-ranked mission, I don’t believe that much will happen. The leader of the village  _ is  _ basing all of this off of rumors, after all.” This was very true. They could just be wasting their time with this, but it was better safe than sorry.

“Well Kakashi,” The Third sighed, “I guess it’s best if you get going.”

Without another word, Kakashi disappeared, and Hiruzen Sarutobi was left alone with nothing but his own thoughts.

\---

It had been so long since anyone had said a word. The sound of the trees rushing by and branches cracking under your feet was the only thing that filled your ears. Your squad had to have been at least a couple hours outside of The Hidden Leaf Village, getting closer to your destination by the second. Your mind had been clear since the beginning of the trip, until now.

Kakashi Hatake… the man you had hated since that unforgettable day, was only a couple meters behind you. 

Following you. 

You had to get more information about this man  _ right now _ , or else you were going to lose your mind.

“Sakura!” You had called out behind you. Maybe  _ she  _ would know a couple things about this man. As soon as you had said her name, she was right next to you, eyes beaming.

“Yes I’m here,” she prattled, quickly getting in line with you, “what do you need?”

“I want to know as much as I can about…” you turned your head back to look at the ninja, “your sensei, Kakashi.”

“Oh,” Sakura thought aloud, “Kakashi-sensei…” You turned your head towards her, waiting for what she had to say next.

“Well, definitely one thing I can tell you is that he’s  _ always  _ late.” Her face turned sour and she looked off into the distance in front of her.

‘That can only be true,’ you sighed. He had shown this trait when he had been an hour late to your meetup place by the entrance. He had a lame excuse too, saying that he “got lost on the path of life”.

“Another thing,” she poked, “is that he is always reading that stupid Icha Icha Paradise book of his. It’s  _ super annoying _ , especially when you’re trying to talk with him.” Sakura’s face had turned a shade of red, showing her annoyance. “ _ And _ ,-”

“Alright Sakura, that’s quite enough.” You stifled a laugh, watching the anger seep from her every pore. “Although I would  _ love  _ to hear more about Kakashi’s hobbies,” the sarcasm threaded it’s way into your voice, “I really met for you to tell me more about his past.”

“Oh…” Her face was now red with embarrassment. “Well, I don’t know much about his past, just a couple rumors.”

“Anything will do, Sakura.” You pressed.

“Alright.” She looked off in thought another time, then proceeded. “Well, from what I do know, is that Kakashi-sensei had lost his parents at a young age… kind of like you, Captain Y/N.”

You blinked your eyes at her, puzzled. You didn’t know that he had lost someone at such a young age. You felt kind of bad, cursing him the way that you did earlier…

“I almost forgot,” she continued, “I also heard that he had lost two his friends during missions - they were apart of his team. Kakashi-sensei also lost his sensei while he was fighting to protect the village.”

Now you definitely felt bad. You couldn’t believe you had treated him so horribly when he had had a past similar to yours. Turning your head around, you looked to the Jonin. He had been looking at you and Sakura, trying to listen in on your conversation. 

It all came back suddenly. You had treated him that way because he was responsible for your parent’s deaths, of course. Shaking you head, you quickly looked back forward.

‘You can’t forget about what he did,’ you thought, ‘...but on the other hand-’

“THAT’S IT!” Naruto’s voice had screamed out in pain. “I can’t take it anymore, I really have to use the bathroom!”

Your whole group leaped down from the trees, and Naruto scampered off to find a suitable bush. 

“Just make it quick!” You and Kakashi both blurted out.

“Huh ha,” Kakashi sang, “jinxed ‘ya!” You turned away from him, rolling your eyes at his childlike behavior. You had to admit though, rolling your eyes was kind of childish for you too. 

“Whatever you say,  _ Hatake _ .” You sneered, leaning up against a tree. The atmosphere around you two grew quite thick, causing Sakura and Sasuke to exchange looks.

“While we’re here,” Sasuke began, “I might as well use the bathroom too.”

“Yes, me too!” Sakura chirped, mimicking Sasuke’s moves by backing up slowly into the surrounding bushes. As soon as they both hit the safety of the shrubs, they took off running in the same direction. You cracked a smile at their ridiculousness, and watched them disappear down the hill. The smile you had plastered on your face soon faded away after you realized who you were left with.

“So,” His deep voice tested the silence around you, hanging in the air like a piece of paper held up by a pushpin. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Y/N L/N.”

“As so have I, Kakashi Hatake.” You swished your body around, finding his face deep in a book. ‘Sakura wasn’t wrong I guess….’ 

You raised an eyebrow and pushed out a smirk. “Reading those books I see,” you jested, “I thought squad leaders were supposed to be role models, not perverts.”

He quickly brought the book down from his face and stuffed it into his side bag. “I read them for the plot!” He blushed, struggling to put his hands in one place. “You would know that if you had _actually_ heard about me.”

“But I have.” You retorted, crossing your hands and closing your eyes in triumph. ‘Now I really  _ am  _ acting like a kid.” You thought, quickly opening your eyes and looking at his agitated figure. “Your past, mostly.”

He squirmed a bit and leaned back against the tree he had been leaning on before. “Yes, I know that you know about my Anbu past-”

“Not just that,” you cut him off, “your childhood too - only parts though.”

“Huh.” He grunted, raising his only available eyebrow at you. “Which parts?”

You looked down at your foot which was now kicking at the rocks in the dirt. “That you lost your friends and family to war and missions…” you paused for a second, looking up to his face, only to see him look back at you calm and collected. “Why didn’t you tell me this before? I treated you so harshly, acting like I was the only one with a grief-stricken past, when in reality…”

He swiftly moved forward, placing his right hand on your left shoulder. You took in a sharp breath, feeling blood rush to your checks. ‘Why on earth am I blushing?’

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he smiled, cutting off your reasoning, “You aren’t expected to know  _ everything  _ about everyone. People make mistakes sometimes.”

Your lips parted and you unconsciously cocked your head to one side, taking in his up-close features. He reopened his eye, and smiled even wider underneath his mask.

“You know Hatake,” you whispered, “you really are quite the-”

“We’re back!” Sakura announced, pushing back through the bushes. “Hope we didn’t miss out on anyth-” Her eyes widened at the sight of you and Kakashi so close. She had thought for sure that you two had hated each other. The sight also had Naruto and Sasuke confused, since both were giving the same awe-struck look.

“Looks as if we  _ did  _ miss out on something.” The shock in her voice had said it all. You suddenly became conscious of how close you two were, and how awkward this might look to the three Genin. 

“Ah ha! You’re back!” Kakashi had exclaimed, as you both jumped away from each other. Kakashi stood as straight as a log, giving a forced smile and scratching the back of his head. You stood the same way with the same smile on your face, but your hands on your hips instead.

“... that’s what I  _ said _ …” Sakura insisted, taking the chance to squint her eyes. “Just exactly what were you two do-”

“If you’re all back, then let’s get going!” You let out your peppiest voice and turned to Kakashi. “What do you think?”

“Y/N’s right,” Kakashi replied, “let’s not waste anymore time.” Just as he finished his sentence, you leapt up into the trees with Kakashi following shortly behind. The three students stayed behind, looking at each other.

“I’ll bet you they’ll be all over each other in a day.” Naruto declared, looking over to Sakura.

“I bet you at the end of this  _ mission  _ they will be.” Sakura challenged, reaching her hand out to shake with Naruto. “Whoever loses gets to treat the other with a trip to Ichiraku’s.”

“You’re on!” Naruto yelped, shaking Sakura’s hand vigorously.

“Whatever you two,” Sasuke grumbled, “let’s just get going.” 

The three of them went after you two Jonin, quickly jumping up into the tall trees. Sakura and Naruto were smiling about the bet they had just made, and Sasuke was smirking about which one of the two he agreed with in his head.

\---

Just as the sun was reaching the horizon, you saw the far off village. The pinks and oranges of the setting sun scattered around, reaching every building and shop. Every street light seemed to be waking up after a long rest in the days light. Busy people moved around like dots on an unfinished painting; each had their own voice which echoed into the trees you were traveling in. 

“It’s right up here,” you turned to Kakashi, “seems as if these people don’t go to bed early.”

“They’re probably used to staying up late for all of the celebrations!” Sakura gushed letting out a little squeal. “Do you think we will be able to see one of them?”

“We’ll have to wait and see Sakura,” Kakashi replied, turning to you and winking. 

Winking? Maybe… or it was just him blinking, you could only see one eye of course. 

‘Yes, he definitely just blinked, that’s all…’ You thought, turning forward and picking up your pace.

\---

“Welcome to The Village of Celebration!”

 

It was the only thing you heard entering the gates, and it was repeated over and over like a broken record. It was giving you a headache; all this enthusiasm was going to slowly kill you over the next three days.

“Yes! Welcome to The Village of Celebration!” An older man made himself known in the crowd, pushing himself forward and shaking your hand. His loud voice boomed in your ears, making your headache even worse. “I am this Village’s leader, Urusai. You must be the ninja from The Hidden Leaf, am I correct?”

“Yes, very much so!” Kakashi was now yelling as well, speaking to meet Urusai’s tone. “Do you mind showing us where we are staying? We are  _ very  _ tired after our traveling.”

\---

You slid the door shut behind you and let out an exasperated sigh. Just saying goodnight to the boys from across the hall made you feel tired. You watched with droopy eyes as Sakura unpacked her bag on one of the two beds.

“We have an amazing view from the window,” she called out to you, “you should check it out!”

Shuffling your way to the window, you thought about what Urusai said. ‘Don’t worry about the village all too much,’ you remembered, ‘I’m sure that everything will be okay!’ 

‘Maybe this will be more relaxing than working,’ you thought, ‘even though, I should still stay on my-’

“Wow.” 

You looked down on the sweet village, letting out a small gasp. Looking around, you could see all the different shops and everyone buzzing around them. Every shop was a different pastel color, lighting up the night with blues, pinks, oranges, and so much more. Small twinkling lights hung across the walkway, creating the illusion of small stars between each store.

“It’s so pretty…” Wonderment clouded your voice as you looked out of the window. You decided to hop on the window frame, leaning your back against the side of it and letting your legs stretch out to the other side.

“I know right!” Sakura was now unpacked, laying down on her bed and facing the window as well. “It’s also so romantic… maybe Sasuke could take me out on a date tomorrow night!” She held her hands to her heart and closed her eyes, humming a tune. “Maybe even Kakashi-sensei could take you out on one as well!”

You turned around to look at Sakura so fast, that you almost fell off of the window frame. “Are you joking?” You're surprised voice made her sit back up in her bed.

“I mean,” she began looking around the room, “as a ‘getting to know you’ type of date! You are  _ going  _ to be with him for the next three days - you might as well get  _ along  _ with him.”

She was right,  _ again _ . ‘It can’t be that bad, right?’ You thought, turning back to the window. 

‘Maybe I can get to know him and…  _ possibly  _ forgive him for what he did.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOooOoo Y/N is adapting! Maybe she'll even enjoy herself on this mission?  
> Only time will tell.... 
> 
> Stay with me for the next update!


	3. Past's Nighmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this one was so late!  
> I got a new computer, so things have been a little rough... but here it is!

“We don’t have much time, please go Y/N.”

The quiet voice of your mother sent chills down your spine. You could hear the screaming of the hundreds of villagers outside, making the whole aura around you grow cold.  There was panic in her eyes, something that you had never seen before. Your father had gone outside to investigate the loud explosions, before the screaming had began. Since then, he hadn’t returned.

While you slipped on your coat, your mother tightly wrapped your favorite scarf around your neck and gave you a reassuring smile. 

“Don’t worry honey, I will catch up with you later - I just have to go find your father first.”

You wanted to beg her to come with you and tell her that you were scared, but all you manage was a nod of your head. She pushed you out the back door and told you how to sneak out of the village - a secret way she knew of since she was your age. 

With a kiss to the top of your head and a quick I love you, she shut the door leaving you out in the cold. You looked up at the covered window, only to notice her shadow was still lingering by the closed entryway. You wanted her to open up the shade and give you one last smile,  _ one last piece of hope _ , but she never did. Instead the shadow moved from it’s place, taking your mother's presence with it.

You didn’t move from your spot, and you started to shake with fear. All of the shouting you had heard earlier was now making itself even more known. It felt like everywhere you looked, you saw people attempting to flee from the attackers. Everyone of your instincts told you to get down and hide, but you stood still, the look of fear on your face. 

‘ Run .’ You thought, but your legs stayed plastered to the dirt. Why couldn’t you move? Why couldn’t you think straight? What was happening to you? 

Where you going to… die?

This thought shook your insides, causing you to sprint to the nearby frost-filled forest. Your breathing picked up rapidly, causing you to panic and trip over a lump of snow. You landed face-first, but your recovery was quick. As you were dusting off the snow from your clothes, you happened to look down the lump of snow that made you to trip. What you saw caused you to let out a blood-curtailing scream. 

It was your father. Bloodied-snow covered his body, and his eyes were wide open, looking up at you. 

You thought about going back for your mother now, but shouting voices in your direction changed your mind. They had heard your scream, and they were coming right for you. 

You began to run again, straight for the trees. You had to make it out of there, your mother was expecting you to. Even if the cold snow had already made its way into your boots, you  _ had  _ to continue.

The forest was so much darker than the village, since the trees blocked the light from the setting sun. It felt so claustrophobic; every step you took seemed to take you even further into the dark woods. Your steps picked up, even though you were already running as fast as you could. Your breathing seemed to do the same, causing your world to spin. 

Darkness was everywhere, and it was inescapable. 

You were totally engulfed in it now, and everything seemed to be fading away. Falling to your knees, you let out a loud sob. Your chest started to burn from the lack of air, and tears seemed to be running down your face in waves. When you tried to breathe in, no air made its way into your lungs. It felt as if all oxygen was also sucked out of the air from the darkness. Choking for a breath, your eyes widened and you held your neck.

_ “Y/N!” _

A voice echoed loudly in your head. At first you thought it was your father’s, but this voice was deeper and smoother than his. 

_ “Wake up, Y/N! Can you hear me?” _

~~~

You swung your head forward and gasped for air. It was just a nightmare. 

A very,  very vivid nightmare.

When you finally caught your breath, your darting eyes noticed a total of five things.

One - You were still on the windowsill from last night, but you were now leaning forward and your feet were touching the ground. 

Two - It was now daylight outside, and the room was lit up with sunlight from the open window.

Three - Sakura was on your left, looking at you with shocked, tear-filled eyes.

Four - The door was slid open, and Naruto was poking his head in with a confused look on his face; Sasuke wasn’t too far behind him.

And shockingly, Five - Kakashi was holding onto both of your shoulders, breathing heavily, and was a couple feet away from your face.

You locked your eyes with his one eye and moved your face back about an inch. 

“What the hell?” You exclaimed, shaking his hands off of you. He took two steps back and let out a relieved sigh. 

“I thought you would never wake up,” he sighed, leaning against the closest wall, “you were having a horrible nightmare.”

“I gathered,” you replied, harshness in your tone, “may I ask why there is a crowd?” Sakura now leaped towards you and started to cry in your clothes that you were still wearing from the other day. You guessed that you had fell asleep after the city got quiet.

“I tried my best to wake you up,” she sobbed, “I really did! At first, you were just twitching, so I tapped your shoulder to try and get you up, but then the twitching turned into thrashing and soon  _ you were choking for air and I yelled for Kakashi-sensei and I started to cry and _ -”

“She’s alright now Sakura, calm down.” Kakashi’s smooth voice spoke against her endless rambling, and stopped her from continuing. Sakura jumped out of her deadlock from your side, and started to wipe at her eyes. She looked up at you, gleaming, and smiled widely. 

“Of course, sorry-” she looked back at Kakashi, still smiling, “Kakashi-sensei was the one who really helped you out, Captain Y/N. You were quite difficult to wake up - you had us all worried.” You looked towards Kakashi, who had his hand in his hair and he let out a closed-eye chuckle.

“She isn’t joking there.” He stood up straight and let his hand drop from its place on his head. “That must have been some nightmare, Y/N; it took most of my strength to hold you down.”

You were now scratching at your arm, embarrassed by the events. Moving your eyes to Kakashi’s chest, you avoided his wondering eye contact. You were sure the commotion had woken other residents of the hotel. The proof was standing right in front of you - If Kakashi had heard Sakura yelling, other people were bound to hear her as well.

“They aren’t usually that bad,” you mumbled, “and I hadn’t had one in a long time before this…  I’m sorry.”

“ _ Usually _ ?” Kakashi asked with a concerned tone. “Y/N-”

“Just exactly were you dreaming about?” Naruto’s voice seeped into the room after staying silent for so long. He was tired of just listening, so he decided to join in. “You woke me up early, and now I really want to know!”

“I think it’s about time we left Y/N alone,  _ Naruto _ .” Sakura moved towards the door and pushed his head out of the way. She then proceeded to exit, holding on to the door after she turned back around to face you. “It looks like she needs a little time to get ready.” You looked down at your attire, still dirtied from traveling. Not to mention your hair as well; it was sticking out in many directions from the rough sleep. You gave her a shy smile, and she moved her hand to slide the door shut, leaving Kakashi inside. 

Looking at the door, you and Kakashi both let out a laugh when you heard them arguing outside. The doors were pretty thin, so you could hear them bickering about some sort of “bet”. Naruto was saying that he was going to win, but Sakura kept exclaiming that it was too soon to call. You and Kakashi decided to ignore them from that point on, and he turned back to you.

“I guess I better get going,” he smiled, turning back to the door, “see you in about an hour.” The silver-haired ninja made his way to the door and slid it open… and let’s just say you both weren’t surprised that the two blonde and pink haired Genin's fell backwards from the movement made by the door.

\---

It had been almost an hour since you began your routine patrol outside the villages gates. Since it was a larger village, the squad had split up into two groups: You and Sakura in one group, and Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke in the other. The village was also rounded out like a circle with two gates on each poll. You had decided to take the North Gate, while Kakashi took the South Gate. 

It was very boring, causing time to go by extremely slowly. Sakura was also showing signs of boredom, especially when she asked if you two could go investigate the woods surrounding the village. After you radioed Kakashi about the idea, he also brought up setting some traps as well. Telling the original gate guards about the plan, you and Sakura headed out into the north side woods with Kakashi mirroring your actions. 

Every once and awhile, Kakashi would radio in and ask if everything was going alright. It was planned that you would set up a total of ten traps on each side - two of them being sensory traps that would make a loud noise if they were set off, letting the guards know that something was there. After that, it was planned that they would alert you, and then let your squad take it from there. These traps were set up closer to the gates to lower the chances of animals setting them off. 

It was strange having Sakura by your side, following behind you and helping you set up each trap. You had to admit though, it was nice having someone to talk with. Even though you did enjoy being alone on missions, Sakura wasn’t that bad of a partner for her age. She talked to you about events that had happened with the group, people in different squads, what they were like, and even some gossip (Yes… gossip. It was quite interesting to hear what was going on, since you didn’t really have many friends in the first place). Near the end of your patrol, you felt as if you were Sakura yourself; you had gained so much information about her life. It brought you closer to her, making it seem as if she was someone that you could go talk to, if needed so. 

You even thought about bring up your past to her, possibly asking her what she thought about the whole situation. Just when you were about to do so, Kakashi had set his last trap, and it was time to head back. When your group met back up, Naruto started to complain about how hungry he was. Looking around, Sasuke had told you that he had seen a ramen shop nearby. Deciding on that, you and Kakashi’s squad headed out in that direction.

\---

“Thank you for the food!” The group called out, snapping their chopsticks and digging in. You stayed still, looking down the line of kids to your right. You were all sitting on bar stools closest to the wall, taking in the sunshine through the curtains. To your left was Kakashi and another group of people, just sitting chatting about their day. Other noises came from the kitchen and people buzzing by on the street, just outside the little hut. Other than that, it was quite relaxing.

Turning back to your food, you snapped your chopsticks and started eating. After your first bite, your eyes widened and you let out a little hum. The pork ramen that Naruto suggested to you was quite delicious after all!

“Oh man,” you began, turning to your right, “this ramen isn't half bad, Naruto!” He turned to you and shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s okay… not as good as Ichiraku’s Ramen though.” Sakura and Sasuke both nodded their head, agreeing with Naruto. You tilted your head instead, wondering what he was talking about.

“Ichiraku’s?” You asked, a little confused. Obviously it was the wrong thing to do, judging by their reactions. They each dropped their chopsticks and gave you a quizzical look.

“What?”

“You’re meaning to tell me you haven’t ever been to Ichiraku’s?” Naruto stood up and pressed his hands down on the counter. This caused the other people in the shop to grow quiet and turn their heads to see what was happening. 

“Well, now thinking about it,” you looked up and pursed your lips in thought, “I’ve only had ramen about two or three times before. None of it was this ‘Ichiraku’s Ramen’ you speak of.” Just when Naruto was about to lose his mind, Sakura pushed him back down on the stool and let out a nervous laugh.

“Sorry about that,” she said, giving you a forced smile, “he’s pretty serious when it comes to ramen.”

“We will just have to take her when we get back to the village.” Kakashi replied, making your head turn. “Consider it my treat.”

“Your treat?” Naruto blurted out, leaning into the counter to look at Kakashi. “Since when do you pay for-”

“Did I hear Ichiraku’s Ramen?” 

You turned back to your left, looking to the group of people that were sitting next to you. A man had cut Naruto’s sentence with his question, and he was looking at you with a friendly face. “I’ve been there a couple times before… that must mean that you guys are Hidden Leaf Ninja.”

“That is correct.” You replied, smiling. “We are here on guarding duty for your village.”

“So the rumors are true!” A younger girl spoke up. She was sitting down next to the man, and had a smaller bowl of ramen in front of her. By observing this, you guessed that she was the older man’s daughter. “I told you father! We must leave before the bad people come and attack our village.”

“Now, now,” Kakashi chuckled, giving her his closed-eye smile, “We are here to prevent anything like that from happening. You shouldn’t worry.” The little girl shook her head and frowned.

“I still think something will happen.” She crossed her arms and scanned her eyes over your group. “It was just like my best friend told me - She was outside of the village playing hide-and-seek with me and a couple other people, when she saw  _ them _ . They looked mean and carried a lot of ninja tools, just like you guys. Then, she ran back to the guards as  _ fast  _ as she could and told them about what she saw. All of us were brought back into the village and told not to play outside the gates until further notice.” She let out a sigh and buzzed her lips as she did so. “Now all of my friends and I have to find other games to play.”

You looked down at your unfinished food, and picked up your chopsticks to move them through the noodles. Unconsciously, you whispered to yourself and let out a small sigh. Not thinking anyone had heard, you continued to drag your chopsticks through the cold food and rested your head in your hand. But in reality, someone  _ had  _ heard what you said - and that person was now looking at you with his uncovered eye. 

“I’m sure that your friend was just making all of that up, honey.” The father commented, getting down from his stool and placing money on the counter. He then picked up his daughter to place her on the ground, and moved his hand to wave at your squad. “Nice meeting you, and good luck as well!”

“Thank you, you too.” Kakashi replied, uninterested in the conversation. As the other squad members waved their hands and said their good-byes, Kakashi kept his attention on you. ‘ _ Only if I had done the same thing _ ...?’ he thought, watching you, ‘I wonder what she means by that.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... could Y/N know more about her past than what she says she does?  
> I guess you will have to find out later....  
> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Losing Bets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this update... I think it gets pretty interesting if you ask me.
> 
> Also, I would like to note that the next chapter might be later than expected. A lot of things are happening in my life right now, which might push it back further than I like. I'll try my best to get it to you guys as quickly as I can though!

After a long and restful night, it was time for another morning patrol. You got up earlier than Sakura and shook her awake. All she could do was let out a yawn and rub her eyes out of habit. “At least this time  _ you  _ are waking  _ me  _ up, and not the other way around!”

“Yeah,” you smiled at her, nodding, “I agree.”

It took you only a couple minutes to get ready. You slipped on your usual Jonin attire, but this time, - instead of a black tank top under your vest- you put on a fishnet, long-sleeved shirt. Finishing the outfit by tying your headband around your right thigh, you looked around the room to see that Sakura had already left. You slipped on your sandals and walked out the door - making sure that the door clicked on your way out. 

Meeting at the same place you did yesterday, you saw that the three trainees were already there. The heated argument they were having sparked your interest, causing you to slip behind a tree and eavesdrop on them.

“Kakashi-sensei is late as usual, but now Captain Y/N? What is going on here?” By the pitch of the voice and the irritation, you could tell that it was Naruto. When you leaned forward to get a better look, a sudden whisper behind you nearly frightened you from your hiding place.

“What’s up?” The voice asked casually, causing you to spin around and draw a kunai out of your bag. The man put up both of his hands in response and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Oh,” you replied, retreating the kunai back to its original spot, “it’s just you. Why would you sneak up on me like that?”

“I don’t want to give away our position, of course,” Kakashi whispered, taking a peek at the three Genin. Rolling your eyes, you brought your attention back to Naruto, who was now kicking at the rocks on the road.

“Who knows where they are,” Sakura grinned, poking at Naruto’s chest, “maybe they’re even together right now!” She suddenly jolted, almost like an idea popped into her head. “Oh, and since we are on the topic of them, I believe it has been a full day, Naruto!”

This boasting brought Naruto’s mood down to the floor. He immediately dropped his head in defeat and crossed his arms. “Yeah,” He mumbled, “I guess you won.” You turned your head quickly back to Kakashi, who also was looking at you.

“Must be the bet that they were talking about earlier,” Kakashi commented, looking back to the scene. 

“Yeah,” you thought aloud, “I wonder what it’s about.” Picking at the bark of the tree, you secretly hoped they would spill more about the bet. Must have been your lucky day, because it wasn’t over  _ quite  _ yet.

“Wait…” Sasuke butted in, “Sakura bet that they would be together at the  _ end  _ of the mission, and we aren’t even  _ halfway  _ through it yet. So technically, nobody has really won the bet.” Naruto’s gray cloud over his head was blown away and sunshine shone through. He suddenly jumped up and down in joy, letting out laughter.

“Ha ha!” Naruto singsonged, waving a finger in Sakura’s face, “I don’t owe you  _ anything _ ! Like Sasuke said, you could still lose!” Sakura pushed him away from her, knocking him to the ground. She then stood over him and grabbed him by his shirt.

“I know for a  _ fact  _ I won’t lose,” she snarled at him, “I mean, haven’t you  _ seen  _ their connection?” 

Kakashi’s hand was the only thing that kept you from leaping out from behind the tree. Your blood boiled with rage, and you wanted to end their conversation right  _ then  _ and  _ there _ . Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Sakura continued her heartfelt monolog. “They both are  _ super  _ mysterious, have horrible pasts,  _ and  _ are caring to others. You should have  _ seen  _ it - last night, Captain Y/N saw this helpless old dog, and-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH, SAKURA!” 

Kakashi’s hand lost its grip on your vest, and you swung around the tree with all the momentum you were holding back. Not realizing that the tree’s roots around the stump were protruding out of the ground, you tripped and fell directly onto your face. With the violent tug you gave to Kakashi to get out of his grasp, he was also on the ground.

Right on top of you.

Apparently, Naruto's gray cloud had made its way over to you now. It almost felt as if the world was against you on this very day.

Kakashi instantly scampered off of you and helped you up to your feet. In the struggle, his headband fell over his regular eye, causing him to become blindfolded. He hunched over and let out a small groan, disappointed in the event. You looked at his distraught figure and reached over to lift his headband back to its original position. As your fingers glided across his cheek, you couldn’t help but notice a light blush start to form on his face. His eye slowly reappeared, revealing more and more of his face by the second. When the headband reached the correct location, your hand lingered by his hairline. You both continued to stare at each other until Sakura made a small noise that made you take a quick step back.

Naruto and Sasuke stood in  _ wonderment _ . They had both of their jaws wide open and heads tilted to the side, mind's racing for an explanation on  _ what  _ just happened.

“Told you so…” Sakura whispered to the two boys, giving you and Kakashi a small smile.

\---

Sakura had the whole day planned for you from start to finish, even before you  _ remotely  _ had thought about lunch. After your anger had died down from the incident earlier, she talked to you about going out tonight to investigate more about the town - during the boring morning patrol. Thinking of it as an opportunity to talk to more of the villagers, you agreed to her idea. What you didn’t know, was that that wasn’t her intentions  at all . A quick radio session to Kakashi locked in the plans, and Sakura’s scheme was quickly guided to the path of success. 

Following the patrol, Sakura jumped her idea of going to the village’s sauna, giving you and Kakashi a warming smile. 

“Not only will it help us relax, but there is  _ bound  _ to be more people in the sauna who could tell us about the Rouge Ninja team.” Shrugging to each other, you both compiled and began making your way across the town.

\---

Wading your way into the sauna waters, you glimpsed around the fog-filled atmosphere. You made the effort to find anyone inside and did a short scan around the area. After a minute, you made the conclusion that there was not a single person there. Sighing, you turned around to look at Sakura, who was making her way into the hot water as well.

“Looks like this was for nothing after all.” You were now completely submerged in the water and made your way to a fenced wall. After you made the short trip over, you leaned your back against the cement siding and looked over at Sakura, who was at the opposite side. “I guess we won’t stay here for too long.”

“Oh nonsense,” she waved a hand at you, “you should just relax for once and get your mind off of the mission! You are so worried about the idea of Rogue Ninja. This whole thing might just be made up by a kid, Captain Y/N!”

“But Sakura,  _ you  _ are a kid.”

“Maybe to you, but I am almost a teenager - which makes me an almost-young-adult.” She crossed her hands over her chest and let out a heavy puff of air, which sent water ripples to your side of the water. You shook your head and smiled, splashing some water in her direction with a flick of your wrist.

“Whatever you say, Sakura.”

You two enjoyed the silence until Sakura remembered her plan. She let out a sly smile and looked over to your carefree figure. You had your eyes closed, and were leaning even further back into the water; your arms were crossed behind your head, and your breathing was slowed. ‘She’s calm and collected…’ she thought, ‘time to move onto Phase Two!’

“You’re starting to freak me out Sakura - what do you need?” One of your eyes were open and looking over to her. You had noticed that she was staring at you with a weird look, and you started to get concerned. She slightly jumped in the water, taken by surprise.

“Uh, I was just wondering,” she began, stuttering, “W-What you thought about Squad 7 so far?” 

“Oh, that?” You opened both of your eyes and stretched your arms down to your sides. “I think you guys are an interesting group, and with enough work, you can become very strong together. You do have a very skilled Sensei, so I have no doubt that you all will reach new heights.”

“So…” she proceeded cautiously, “what else do you think about Kakashi-sensei?” You squinted your eyes at her and leaned your head forward.

“What are you getting at?”

“I’m trying to say that,” she tapped her fingers on her arm, deep in thought, “at first, you seemed as if you absolutely  _ hated  _ Kakashi-sensei, and now you seem okay with him.”

This whole thing was pretty difficult to come to terms with. Every waking hour of your past, you woke up always thinking about the man that you blamed. The man who destroyed your village. He was responsible for it  _ all _ since he didn’t successfully complete the mission. 

Except,  _ it wasn’t his fault _ . He came there to help defend your village, not dismantle it. He was caring and brought you back to the Hidden Leaf,  _ literally saving your life! _ But, every time you thought about this, your brain kept going back to what  _ you  _ did instead. And so, you decided that you couldn’t live with that, and pushed the blame back on Kakashi.

“It’s all my fault, Sakura.” 

You looked away from her eye contact, afraid of what you might say next. All of the images came flooding back like a tsunami, pulling you under dark water to never see the light of surface ever again. Tears started to make their way into your eyes, and you clenched your fists. You hated that every day you dealt with aching guilt, even more so when you were with Kakashi.

“What is?” She asked with a patient tone, coming closer to you.

“Everyday, I would push this blame on down on him, and I feel so horrible for doing so. I want to apologize so badly, but whenever I was alone with him… I couldn’t  _ do it _ .”

“What is?” She pushed even harder, still waiting for your answer.

“It was so easy to do until I found out how nice of a person he is. The nightmares came back because of him, and I was reminded of what I did that night.”

“Y/N,  _ what is your fault _ ?”

Tears were now threatening to make a trail down your face, so you closed your eyes and furrowed your eyebrows tightly. Your knuckles were white and you shook with fear.

“I-I….”

Time seemed to be still and nothing made a sound. It was almost like the whole world was waiting for you to spit it out. ‘I can’t do this, not here, not now.’ you thought, flinching. ‘I can’t let my feelings come in the way of this mission.’

“I’m so sorry, Sakura.” You pushed away from her and headed for the exit. Your voice grew harsh and you pushed your feelings back down into your stomach. Before she could utter a word, you had already splashed your way out of the water and lingered by the door. You then muttered something out that Sakura could hear very clearly. This repeated in her head many times after you had already slid the door shut behind you. She dropped her head down in sadness for you, thinking about what you must have experienced that caused you to easily lock away your feelings like that.

“A shinobi is one who endures, not one that shows emotion.”

\---

It had been like nothing had happened. Obviously, Sakura had looked at you with concern, but you ignored it. After the boys had finished their soak, you all had met out in the front of the sauna.

“Man, the sun is already setting?” Naruto questioned, looking up at the sky. Sure enough, you raised your head to see the sun making its way beneath the horizon. Many different reds and pinks lined the sky and wispy clouds covered it as well. 

“You guys should go and investigate some more before it gets dark.” You said, looking at Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. “If we split up, maybe there is a better chance that we will get more information.” 

“Alright then,” Sasuke replied, turning to leave, “let’s get moving.”

“Wait up,” Sakura quickly added in, looking back at you, “Are you sure that you are okay?” Everyone seemed to turn to Sakura and then to you, confused by what she had said. Sakura stood with a worried look on her face and waited for you to answer. Instead, you grabbed Kakashi by his arm and took off in the opposite direction.

\---

You couldn’t remember how you ended up in this bar, and you couldn’t believe that you were already drunk. 

‘I only had 3 shots of Sake…’ you thought, ‘or was it 6..?’ You turned to Kakashi who was on your left, twirling his drink on the bar.

“How many are done now?” You slurred, squinting at him. He let out a laugh and turned to look at your face. He noticed that your head was slowly moving downwards and your eyes were blinking slowly.

“Man, you are  _ really  _ drunk.” Your head connected with the wood and he watched you close your eyes. “I have no idea what you are trying to ask me, Y/N.” You didn’t respond, and your eyes stayed closed. “Y/N, I think it’s best if we head back. You need some sleep so you will be ready for tomorrow.”

Your head suddenly shot up and your eyes were wide open. “Nah, I’m fine Kashi! Look at me,” you blubbered, putting both of your hands on your chest, “I am doin’ _ GREAT _ !”

“What did you just call me?” He sat up straight now with his head tilted to the side. You waved one of your hands around lazily in response.

“Oh nothing,” Your hands grabbed onto the padding on your vest around your neck and waved it back and forth quickly. “I hate this part of the vest,” you said, waving the padding faster, “it makes me feel like a bird. Look,  _ I can fly! _ ”

Kakashi facepalmed and started to laugh. You continued to wave the padding, letting out a small coo. He grabbed your hands and stopped you, standing you up slowly so you could catch your balance. 

“I am taking you back so you don’t embarrass yourself anymore.” He chuckled, standing you up straight. You both made your way to the door very slowly, and very loudly as well. A couple people watched the fiasco, with you blurting out a couple things every once and awhile. Kakashi still had ahold of one of your hands and helped you balance.

The bartender watched the both of you move to the door and waved to Kakashi while he helped you. He then witnessed you falling to the ground and Kakashi bursting out in laughter. The bartender couldn’t help but laugh as well when you started making “snow” angels on the carpeted flooring. The last he saw of you two was Kakashi slowly picking you up in bridal style, and leaping out into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to figuring out the truth, yet so far.  
> Will Y/N ever open up to someone, or continue to keep her feelings locked away forever?


	5. Warming Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOOOOO sorry that this chapter came out so late!
> 
> My internet went down so I couldn't post it until now - but here it is!  
> Hope you enjoy!

“Y/N, I need you to get up.”

 

Your dream was cut short by a loud voice that rang in your head. The ringing seemed to bring along a throbbing sensation and made you squeeze your shut eyelids tight. You shook your head slightly and brought the pillow you were cuddling with even closer to your body.

“Just five more minutes,” you murmured, embracing the pillow even tighter. Your head was pounding even more from talking, so you nestled it away from the morning light that made its way into your room. It was  _ so comfortable _ and you slowly drifted back off to sleep, ignoring your migraine. 

 

“Seriously, Y/N, you’re squeezing my head.”

You suddenly became aware of where the voice was coming from since it vibrated your leg that was on top of the pillow that you were snuggling.

Pillow? Pillows can’t speak…

 

Your eyes shot open and you immediately regretted doing so. The daylight stung your eyes and made you blink a few times to regain your sight. After the sting faded away, you looked down and surveyed your so called “pillow”.

Just as you had thought, your “pillow” was, in fact, a human being. His body was held snugly to yours by your grip, and your left leg curled around his body while your right was hidden underneath it. Both of your arms held his head close to your chest, and your face was buried in his fluffy hair. His right arm was draped over your leg that crossed his chest, and his left arm was tucked under your body, making small taps on your upper back in an attempt to wake you.

Smiling, you closed your eyes again and let out a light sigh. With every breath you took, you couldn’t help but take in the scent of his hair. It made you even more relaxed, making you forget about your achiness in your body and the funny feeling in your stomach.

  
  


“Oh, good morning, Kakashi.”

 

Wait… 

 

**_KAKASHI?!?_ **

 

Your eyes swung back open and your hands pushed his head away from your chest. Quickly scanning over his face, you noticed that he wasn’t wearing his headband or his vest. His left eye remained closed and his mask was beneath his nose, possibly rubbed down while he was sleeping.

Even though you two were in this position, Kakashi’s expression looked calm and collected as he peeped up at you with a glazed-over eye. You, on the other hand, were having a full blown freakout session. 

“Thanks, you were suffocating me there,” he said coolly, voice filled with sleep, “What’s with the face?” 

Yelping, you jumped back from his warm figure almost falling off of the bed. You quickly looked down and assessed what you were wearing, coming to terms that you  _ also  _ had taken your vest off and one more thing…  _ your bra _ .

“What the  _ HELL? _ ” You screeched, as you scrambled onto the floor to get out of Kakashi’s eyesight. “Where the  _ fuck  _ is my bra?”

 

“It should be around here somewhere…” he mumbled, searching around in the covers. You popped your head back over the bed and looked at him with a shocked face.

“How would  _ you  _ know?” Your face turned red and your heartbeat rapidly increased, thinking of all of the possibilities. “Did... we…?”

Kakashi quickly caught on to where you were going and held both of his hands up, shaking his head violently. 

“ _ No no no no _ ,” he added, looking worried, “You were complaining about how you couldn’t get the latch undone and how uncomfortable it was making you, so I helped. I swear to you,  _ nothing  _ happened last night.” You let out a sigh of relief and continued searching the floor for the missing item. 

‘Okay, good,’ you thought, calming your heart rate down from the pounding it was making in your chest.

 

No, wait. Not  _ good _ .

“Why are you even in my bed in the first place?” You questioned, popping your head back up and startling Kakashi. “I want to know,  **right now** .”

  
  


“That’s your fault, Captain Y/N.”

Sakura’s sudden comment took you by surprise, and you leaped away from where her head was poking out from around the corner. She giggled at your reaction and continued to talk. “Kakashi came in the room really late at night, carrying you and laid you down on your bed. When he was trying to cover you up, you pulled him down on you and told him to stay.” She waved her toothbrush in your direction and let out a small laugh. “You wouldn’t  _ believe  _ the fit you threw when he tried to get up and leave!”

 

Your face was now a deep shade of red and you looked up at Sakura, dumbfounded. You could  _ not  _ believe that you would have  _ ever  _ done that. 

Grabbing the vest closest to you on the ground, you swiftly brought it around you and zipped it up.

“Alright, I have had enough,” you slowly brought yourself up from the floor, dizzy by a headrush. “I need to get ready, so  _ you _ ,” you grumbled, pointing at Kakashi, “need to go.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair,” he replied, getting up from your bed, “it’s just one thing…” He stood and lifted his hand up to fix his mask, then turned to look at you.

“What do you need now?”

He reached down to the floor and picked up another vest, holding it up to you. “I kind of need  _ my  _ vest back.” Looking down at the vest you were currently wearing, you noticed that it was loose around your body and hung down to your mid thigh. You angrily snatched the vest that Kakashi was holding and ripped the one you were wearing off of you.

“Now get outta he-” Your sentence was cut off by a sudden jolt of your stomach. One of your hands lifted up to your mouth, and Sakura quickly pulled you by the shoulder into the bathroom. 

 

This was Kakashi’s cue to leave. He quickly slipped out the door with his clothes in hand when Sakura slammed the bathroom door shut and made his way into the other hotel room.

 

\---

 

“What did you just say, Urusai?”

Patrol was a lot different today. When the squad split up to go to the village’s entrances like normal, the guards stopped you on your way out. They told you that Urusai wished to see both you and Kakashi, wanting to speak to you on behalf of guarding the village.

At first, you were afraid that last night's “incident” would have gotten you in trouble, but it was exactly the opposite. You had never been drunk on a mission before, and you were still humiliated about the whole ordeal that happened with Kakashi. You two haven’t spoken since morning, but every once and awhile you find yourself taking small glimpses in his direction.

 

Now, here you were, standing in front of Urusai in his office, hearing shocking news about the mission.

“I think you heard me loud and clear!” Urusai chuckled at you, “I think you guys have been working very hard at keeping this village safe, and deserve a little break!” You couldn’t help but feel a  _ little  _ guilty about the “break” that you took last night, and turned to Kakashi for some help on what to say next. He understood your confusion and took a step forward to speak to the leader.

“What do you mean by break?” He questioned, “We thought that this village was still at risk of being attacked - at any time.”

Urusai let out a hearty laugh and leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. “Are you telling me that you believe those rumors, that a bunch of children made up?” Again, you and Kakashi exchanged glances, perplex by what this man was going on about.

 

“But sir,” you began, shaking your head, “You were the one you hired us to protect this village. Are you meaning to tell us that this was all a big hoax?” You thought back to when he complimented you on all the “hard work” you were doing. All the assignment was, was to check the perimeter of the village in the morning to make sure nothing strange was happening, _ that’s all _ . For him to tell you this was definitely an overstatement, at the least.

Urusai frowned and shook his head. “I have to admit,” he began, running his fingers along a side of his jaw, “I believe I over reacted on this whole situation. I feel  _ horrible _ about bringing you Ninja all the way out here for nothing, so I wanted to make it up to you.” He suddenly jumped up from his seat and brought both of his hands up in the air. “Tonight we are having one of the biggest celebrations that we host each year, and I want your squad to kick back and enjoy it!”

You honestly didn’t know how to react. You wanted to be angry that your first mission with a squad was a dud, probably the least eventful one you had been on yet. But at the same time, you had made more friends and had been through an exciting few days with them. Not to mention your nightmares completely ceasing, and also enjoying yourself for once.

 

“I can’t wait to get started!” 

Your voice was filled with enthusiasm and you clasped your hands together, giving him a large (and very cheesy) smile. Turning around and heading for the door, you said your goodbyes to Urusai and waited for Kakashi to catch up to you. When you had shut the door behind you, your smile instantly faded away and you started walking down the hallway to the exit.

 

“I don’t trust a single word he said,” Kakashi stated behind you, keeping his voice low.

“Neither do I,” you began, “He hired us on a B-ranked mission, and now he’s telling us to ‘just relax’? He must be out of his mind!” Kakashi now was walking beside you and nodded his head, agreeing with what you had said.

“I think the best thing to do in this situation is to remain on our toes, but stay back and see how it unravels.”

 

“Yeah,” you replied, finally reaching the exit, “I agree.”

 

\---

 

A few nights ago, you would have thought the beauty of this small village could not get any greater, but you were very wrong. Many people were dressed in different Jinbei and Yukata, dancing around with joyful personalities. Even more twinkling lights were hung than before, and different colorful signs were up around shops.

The festival had begun, and many people from different nations flooded the gates. Your squad was over there to help with checking the foreigners but were sent away when the gate guards caught sight of you. They all smiled at you and told you to go have fun at the festival, sending you off with a wave of their hands. After hearing this, Sakura and Naruto had disappeared into the crowd, making their way to the carnival games.

 

“I almost got him…” Naruto whispered as he coaxed a small goldfish into a corner. After searching for almost 20 minutes, you had found Naruto and Sakura at one of the many games spread out on the street. The game that they had stopped at was Kingyo Sukui, a fishing type game where you used a small bowl and a poi to capture a goldfish that swam around in a larger water container. A poi is a small net with a thin piece of paper used to lift the goldfish in the bowl. Until the paper breaks, the player is allowed to fish around to try and get themselves the prize, a goldfish.

Naruto and Sakura were both hunched over the water container, fishing with their poi and bowl. Sakura stayed more towards the center of the container, trying her best to catch a straggler who was too slow to get away from her net. Naruto, on the other hand, managed to get a goldfish in a corner of the water container, and tried his best at coaxing the goldfish into his bowl.

This went on for several long minutes until both of their nets had broken and other people eagerly waited their turn.

“Just one more time,” Naruto begged Kakashi, “I swear I’ll catch this one this time!” Other people in line groaned when they heard their conversation, but you butted in before Naruto could reach of another net.

 

“Naruto,” you began with a soothing voice, “I think it’s almost time for the fireworks to start, don’t you?” Naruto whipped around to look at the setting sun, squinting his eyes and thinking for a moment.

“If I do it fast,” he replied, turning back around to grab another net, “then we should be able to see the fireworks, just in time!” As he went to grab one, you quickly snatched his wrist and pulled him away from the game.

“Trust me Naruto,” you barked, dragging him, “to get to the spot I want to be at, we will need time.” You made your way through the crowd, dragging Naruto behind you with the others following your path. The fireworks were supposed to start when the sun made its way below the horizon, and you had no time to waste.

 

“Where exactly are we going, Captain Y/N?” Sasuke called out from behind, a slight amount of agitation in his voice. 

“Right up there,” you pointed in front of you, but towards a cliff edge that overlooked the town. “I think it will be the perfect spot to look at the fireworks.” You weren’t telling a lie, but there was more to it than just that. Yes, the cliff would be an amazing area to watch the show, but it would also give you a chance to get away from all of these people. There was no public access to the spot, like stairs, so nobody would be up there except for you and the rest of the squad.

“Looks like fun,” Sakura chirped, starting to run, “last one there is a rotten egg!” Naruto slipped from your grasp to get ahead, and Sasuke took off as well, complaining about how stupid it was. You and Kakashi stayed back and laughed, watching them make their way to the cliff.

  
  


You had only started running when Kakashi had. It was a competition between the two of you, and you guys ignored the gripping of the three trainees when you zoomed right past them. Reaching the top, you two had tied and sat down on a large rock to catch your breath. When Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke made it to the top, they started to argue about who made it there first. 

“Naruto was obviously las- Woah, look at the view!” Sakura stopped her bickering and leaned over the edge of the cliff to get a better look. The other two did the same, leaning over with their jaws hanging open. Kakashi got curious by their reactions and got up to look as well. When he turned to you to help you up, you shook your head and began to shiver.

“No thanks,” you chattered through your teeth, “I snuck a peek when we were racing up here. Besides, I’m sure when the fireworks start, I’ll be able to see from here.” Kakashi put his hand back down to his side and sat back down beside you.

“Cold?” He asked, concerned. “It is pretty chilly up here if you ask me…”

“Yeah,” You retorted, bringing your knees up to your chest. It was kind of stupid for you to wear shorts a just a tank top under your vest, going off of the other pieces of clothing you had brought with you. It was known to get pretty cold during the night, and you were angry with yourself for forgetting.

 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, you watched a small speck of white flutter down from the sky and onto your knee. Along with just the one, even more snow flakes began to fall from the sky and were getting bigger by the second. Groaning, you started to rub your legs in an attempt to warm yourself up.

“Oh,” Kakashi muttered, “just come here,” and then you found him wrapping an arm around you and bringing you closer to him.

You wanted to protest, but heat was  _ radiating  _ off of him. It was much better than sitting in the cold, and you slightly scooted closer to him for more warmth. Staying silent, you watched the three Genin still marveling at the view down below.

“You sure you don’t want to get up and see the view?” You regrettably wondered, not wanting him to get up and take his heat with him. Instead, he looked down at you and gave you his classical closed-eye smile.

“Nah,” he whispered, bringing you closer, “Besides, I already have a great view right here of you.” You looked away from him, blushing profusely. Did he really just say that?

  
  


“The sun has already set…  _ where  _ are the fireworks?” Naruto hung his head and looked down at the people below, who were also waiting for the show to start.

“Yeah,” Sakura agreed, “The snow is really starting to come down, and I am  _ really  _ starting to freeze!” They all were now sitting down on a rock close to the edge, huddling together to keep warm. It was starting to get dark, now that the sun was absent for the sky.

“You idiots,” Sasuke hushed them, “It will start any time now, just wait.” Even though Sasuke was right, you started to get a little worried. You bumped Kakashi with your elbow and leaned closer to his ear.

“Hear that?” You whispered, not wanting the others to hear and become worried as well.

“Yes,” Kakashi confirmed, turning to you, “The village has become extremely quiet.” He cocked his head forward, trying to see more of the town from below. “Maybe they are just waiting for the fireworks to start?”

“Yeah but-”

 

A sudden scream echoed from below that sent shivers up your spine.

You and the rest of the squad became very still as if waiting for another sign that might indicate that something was wrong. More shouting and screaming made you jump up to look over the cliff edge. Kakashi was right behind you, doing the same.

 

With a turn to each other and a small nod, you both took off down the edge with the other three racing behind you, anxious to see what was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Urusai isn't trustworthy after all... does he have something to do with this?  
> Be sure to check back for Chapter 6 for more!


	6. The Plan (Pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow, it's been so long hasn't it friends! Before we hop right into this chapter, there are a few things I'd like to say.
> 
> First off, it's amazing how much love this series has been getting! The numbers on this story continue to climb and so does my love for all of you readers! Secondly, I'd hate to say it, but all things must come to an end. :(  
> As we reach the end of this series, (I am guessing there will be at least 3 more installments in this story, possibly even four) don't be afraid to leave some recommendations on what you think I should do next!  
> I tried my best to make this part long since I was gone for so long, but I ended up splitting it up into 2 parts! (if you guys are patient with me, you might even see it later tonight ;) )  
> Also in this chapter, there are a lot of dashes and dots. If you see dashes, that means there has been a significant time jump. If you see dots, that marks dialogue between Y/N and Kakashi when they were planning what they were going to do before they jumped right into fighting.
> 
> Hope that you guys enjoy this rollercoaster ride of emotions! (PS, please don't hate me)

It hadn’t stopped raining since the night you returned to the village.

And the guilt was still coming back in waves as well.

\---

“Keeping going! We’re almost there!”

The screaming and loud crashing of buildings being torn to the ground told you which way to head. The air was thick with smoke and snowflakes, causing your vision to be slightly altered.

“I can’t see anything,” Naruto cried out with agitation in his voice, “Are you sure we are heading the right way, Captain Y/N?”

“Positive.” You said under your breath, making a quick hand gesture to split up the group.

\---

Man, how you wished you could go for a walk right now. To clear your mind, get lost in the rain’s sounds… it was truly something that dreams were made of.

But, of course, that wasn’t possible. The pain was unbearable, shooting up and down your left leg every time you moved. You were even told by a specialist that you should be in a wheelchair for more support, but that was a little  _ too  _ much for you. Being stuck with crutches was just fine, compared to the other option. Your movements were restricted, making you feel as if you were a bird trapped in a cage.

Also… there was another reason you felt this way. You didn’t want to leave this hospital room, not even for one second. It wasn’t just the physical pain, it was  _ so _ much more than that. The regret, the look on people's faces, the pity,  _ god forbid _ even seeing Naruto and the other two was almost like reliving the event.

So, for now, just sitting by the window and watching the rainwater drip down the glass was enough.

  
  


\---

After the group was split up and you were by yourself, the destruction and the shrill sound of screaming had died down. It was now just a deadly silence looming over the snowy atmosphere, causing you to become even more on edge.

“Oh come  _ on _ ... really? Just come out already, I know you're there.”

With a quick and swift move, you were on the ground surveying the attackers.

  
  
  


As your eyes moved from one person to the next, you noticed that they were all dressed in black, including the dark face masks they had on except the man in the middle. In total, there were three men. One closer to the front of the group, -which you presumed was the leader- and two in the back holding hostages. With a closer look, you discovered that one of the people being held captive was  Urusai, and the other two were the father and daughter you met at the Ramen shop a couple days ago.

…

_ “I already called in reinforcements. A plan, we need one quick Y/N…”  _

_ “Yes I know, so listen up. My first guess is that there will be hostages, so we need people to stay back and keep a close eye on them.” _

...

After you took a glance at the villagers to confirm your guess, you ran your eyes over the leader to try and analyze what his skills were. “Just you? Yeah right, I know there has to be more.” The leader stood with confidence and his voice rattled your bones. Something was truly off about this man…

Just as planned, Naruto and Sakura were seen by your sides, ready for action. The battlefield grew quiet again, the leader waiting for your next move.

...

_ “That’s true, but we also have a chance at a counterattack, if we plan this right.” _

_ “So you and Sasuke can stay in the trees behind the attackers, and the other two and I will act like a distraction?” _

_ “Yes, exactly what I am thinking. While we are attacking from behind, you can retrieve the hostages and get them to a safe place, to soon return to the fight. From there, we will finish them off together.” _

...

“Why are you here?” You began, voice filled with disgust, “to tear down a poor village for no reasonable explanation? Is that the kind of vile human you are?!” The question hung in the air for several seconds, then a low chuckle began in the leader's throat.

“There is a reason actually,” he announced, “the fireworks were getting quite annoying. Not to mention all of the children running around and screaming.” Beside you, Sakura let out a huff in disbelief. This man was playing with you to get you to make a risky move, but you weren’t falling for it.

Deciding that it was time to get this over with, you pulled a kunai out of its pouch on your side and got into position. Seeing this movement, the two trainees behind you did the same, followed by the attackers.

“Let’s get started then.”

Just as soon as you had said the queue, Kakashi and Sasuke quickly leaped out of the trees to begin the counterattack, swiftly moving to stun the two men in the back who were holding the hostages. Your side of the squad took off in a blur, racing to the captives to get them to safety.

“Not so fast, you sly fox!”

The leader suddenly lurched out towards you pushing you away from your path. Naruto and Sakura stayed on task though and got the three villagers to the side of the road and into a shop for safety. 

His lunge didn’t stop you, and you continued to move as you planned your movements around his. First, it was a leap to the side, then a rush towards the middle to cut off his actions. Your leap was too quick for his current thought process, but the blade he had in his hand cut off your attack from the side. You two came to a sudden stop, blades pulling at each other while both of you stopped in your tracks.

You remained strong, holding him in his place while he struggled to push his blade towards you. “There was also one more reason why I came here...” He smirked, making eye contact with you. 

“What are you saying?” you asked, pushing the blade closer to him but keeping eye contact. He let out a hefty laugh and leaned in closer to your face, pure evil seeping out from his eyes. Kakashi couldn’t hear what was going on since he was too far away, but he was considerably worried why you two had stopped fighting and made his way into earshot.

“Are you telling me you don’t remember me,  _ my Lonely Ninja? _ ”

“No.. wait a seco-” Your breathing quickly accelerated and your blade dropped into the fresh layer of snow. His laugh echoed further into your ears as you began to feel your world spinning out of control. As an advantage, he saw your perplexed stage and pushed you to the ground with a swift kick. You tried your best to get up, but your arms felt boneless and you quickly fell back down on your side.

“How could I not come here to say hello to the girl who helped us slaughter her own village?”

\---

_ Breathe. Keep breathing. _

A deep breath in as you watched another raindrop glide down the glass.

_ Stop crying. Stop your crying. _

A tear mimicked the raindrops movements as it slid down to your chin.

_ It’s your fault. It’s all your fucking fault. _

Your family died because of you. And again, because of your emotions, another person you loved was trapped in the same cruel web.

\---

“That is not true.” You growled, slamming your fist into the snow. “That isn’t true AT ALL.” 

“What do you mean?" He began, taking a step forward and leaning into your face, “Aren’t you the same little girl who told us where to go to get past the guards? Aren’t you the same little girl who hurt because everyone in the village thought you were a _ FREAK _ ?!” He swiftly latched his hand onto your collar and pulled you in.

“Stop it. Please, JUST STOP!” You screamed and tried to pull away, but it was no use. All of your strength was gone and every struggle was useless.

He launched you back into the ground when tears started to form in your eyes. “Why should I stop?” He bellowed, pushing your head further back into the snow with his foot. “We used to be  _ best _ pals. I was the one who gave you that silly nickname that you still have to this day. I was the one who saved you from the useless life you were living.” He continued to push on your head, the pressure sinking further into your skull. “I was the one who made you as strong as you are today! Well…” He smirked as he lifted his foot off the side of your face, “I guess that you aren’t as strong as I thought. To think that killing your parents for you would give you some strife at leas-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH YOU ASSHOLE!” Naruto was suddenly coming for you at full speed with kunai in hand. “There’s _no way_ that you can belittle a friend of mine like that and get away with it!” 

“Naruto, please don’t..” your voice squeaked out. It was no use. Someone else was going to end up dead and it was all because of how weak you are. Your actions had lead to this, and now it was time for you to face the consequences. 

As Naruto leap towards the man, you found yourself doing the same and landing directly on Naruto. You had stopped Naruto from getting hurt, but you felt the man’s blade insert the middle left side of your outer thigh and slice down to make contact with the top of your knee. It was an amazingly deep cut, but that didn’t stop you from pushing Naruto further back from the monster. 

…

_ “Are you worried?” _

_ “Why would I be Kakashi?” _

_ “Your first mission with a squad has to be at least a little nerve-wracking.” _

_ “Yeah, but I know that everything will turn out just fine.” _

...

Naruto effortlessly hopped off of the ground as you stayed still after sitting up to look at your leg. You heard laughing again, but instead of it coming from the nightmare that you call a man, it came from directly above you. Naruto continued to chuckle as he looked across the battlefield towards the man. “I can’t believe that one person can be such a horrible liar!”

The tears were gone. It was only harsh reality now. “Naruto… please go back and guard the hostages.”

“Oh come on Captain Y/N,” he giggled, setting a hand on your shoulder. “I know you! You would never do such a thing! You are so gentle with everyone around you and-”

“ _ It’s true! _ ” You yelped, pushing Naruto’s hand off of you. “I let them in. I let them kill everyone because I was weak. They promised me happiness, saying that the pain would be gone if I just told them when the guards weren’t looking.  _ I let the only two people who knew the real me, die. _ ” Naruto froze in place and Sakura gasped. You turned back to glance at the other two. Sasuke stood in disbelief and had a whole new look in his eyes, something you had never seen before. Finally, you looked towards Kakashi’s eyes, which were still looking forward at the enemy. You could still see the disappointment though, and that was enough to make your eyes drop to the ground. 

It was all over now. The secret was out and there was no way that you could ever set foot in Konoha ever again. There was no future you saw with you in it. So… it was time to end your story right here, right now.

It took a couple times, but you stood from the ground and held your leg wound with your left hand. “Naruto, go back to your station. Now.” Without another word he quickly leaped away from you. 

_ Pain. So much pain. _

Your right hand was shaking as it grabbed another kunai out of your bag on your side.

_ Shaking. Stop the shaking. Stop being so fucking weak. _

Your breathing slowed and you closed your eyes.

_ You are going to die today, but so is he. _

Opening your eyes and to your best ability, you started to run directly at the man. His eyes looked crazed now, ready for your attack and seeking blood. Each step you took with your left leg was a numbing pain, but you kept at it until you reached him. You raised your kunai above your head and saw him pull a blade out from behind him. You knew exactly how your life would end, and you were okay with it. Your blade would enter his head, and his would enter your chest.

Although this was flashing through your head, this isn’t what Kakashi saw at all. He saw you living your life as long as possible. He saw you teaching the three Genin new tricks for fighting. He saw your bright smile and wonderful laugh echoing through The Leaf Village once more. 

… Maybe that’s the reason why he pushed himself in front of you to make the blade insert his lower back instead of your chest.

…

_ “... One more thing before we go in and finish this mission off…” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “We will act accordingly to any other emergencies, correct?” _

_ “Of course we will, us leaders have to protect the rest of our squad, right Y/N?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, major cliffhanger, I know.  
> Stay with me for the next update very soon!


	7. The Plan (Pt. 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't (and wouldn't) leave you guys on a cliffhanger that big for so long, so here is part two!  
> (I know it's short, but trust me, I think you will like it.)  
> Hope you guys enjoy!

You took in a sharp breath once you had realized what just happened. Only one part of your plan had gone successful, and the man now had a kunai stuck in the right side of his head. The other part of the plan although… 

“No…  _ no no no _ …” Your eyes searched Kakashi’s face and then soon lingered down to the blade sticking out from his abdomen. The hand which was holding the kunai had let go, and the man’s body fell to the ground behind Kakashi. 

“It’s okay Y/N,” Kakashi whispered, slowly pulling the blade out of him, “You are fine. Everything is just fine” He then fell to his knees with you following his movements.

 

“No… no, this isn’t how-” He slowly lifted his right hand up to your face and hushed you.

“I know that this wasn’t the plan,” he chuckled, giving you his closed eye smile, “but things don’t always go according to plan when you’re in a squad.” As his dark eye was slowly losing its color, you noticed that his headband was lifted up on his forehead to reveal his Sharingan. 

“You saw what was going to happen, didn’t you?” Your eyes were boiling over with tears as you gently laid him on the ground. “And yet you decided to stop it with your...?” Full sobs stopped you from completing your sentence. You hated death so much and here it was again. 

The three Genin took to your side but made sure to give you two space. 

“Kakashi Sensei…” 

“I want you all to refer Y/N as your new Sensei.” Kakashi’s voice kept growing smaller and weaker. Sakura and Naruto’s eyes stayed glued to their feet as Sasuke murmured a yes sir. 

 

“That's not happening Kakashi.” Your hands began to glow green and pushed on his wound to heal it. Tears still dripped off of your face and onto his body. From his sides, he slowly lifted his hands to meet yours.

“Y/N, you mean so much to me, and I'm glad that you are okay.” You ignored his hands and continued to work on healing the wound.

 

“Cut it out Kakashi, you are going to be just fine.”

“I know that you will take good care of my squad and will be a wonderful leader.”

“Kakashi, stop.”

“The only regret I have was that I wasn’t able to take you to Ichiraku’s…” A low chuckle from his throat. That damned smile. 

Blood continued to taint the snow below him and his grip on your hands became weaker.

“No Kakashi,” you spat out,  “We will go to Ichiraku’s. We will continue to lead this squad. Together.”

“Y/N Sensei…” Sakura’s voice lingered in the air and a hand was placed on your shoulder.

“Sakura,  _ do not call me that. _ ” You shook her hand off your shoulder and continued to make your hands glow. “We will be just fine.”

 

“Please, Y/N…” Sakura whispered.

“Everything will be just fine like you said, Kakashi.” 

“Y/N…”

“ _ Kakashi, you will be just f- _ ”

“Y/N! STOP!”

 

Your head whipped around to look at Sakura. Her face was covered in tears and fists were squeezed shut, down by her sides. “Y/N… please stop, he’s already…” small sobs replaced her normal breathing as tears kept making their way down her face. Naruto had similar tears on his cheeks, but Sasuke’s eyes remained on Kakashi. You slowly turned your head back to where it was before.

 

His breathing had stopped, and his hands were no longer gripping to yours.

 

“ _ I see… _ ” Your voice couldn’t be heard over the wind blowing loudly. Your hands stopped glowing and fell back down to your sides in defeat. You slowly craned your head up to the sky and felt the tiny snowflakes hit the top of your face. “ _ He’s gone Y/N…”  _ the world was now spinning and your heart fell into your stomach. “ _ Another successful mission… _ ” Your own loss of blood was now taking a toll on you, and you couldn’t feel your left leg at all.

 

“ _ And now another dead body. _ ”

 

Your mind quickly went unconscious as you fell down next to Kakashi. The other three yelled out your name, but it sounded as if you were buried in the snow you now laid on.

  
  
  


_ It’s so cold… _

 

“Hold on Y/N Sensei, reinforcements are almost here!”

 

_ Snow… I hate snow. _

 

“Quick, we need a Medical Ninja over here!”

 

_ I want to die, please leave me to die. _

 

“He’s unstable! We need to move quickly!”

 

_ I want peace, please just go away. _

 

“She’s breathing! We have everyone, let’s move!”

 

\---

 

The rain had stopped now, but it was still very dark outside. Clouds moved quickly due to the wind and the raindrops on the window moved at a slant. A nurse had entered the room a couple minutes ago to set down food for you. You kept your eyes scanning the outside scene, listening to her quiet footsteps around the room. She mentioned three younger ninjas desperately wanting to see you as she picked up your untouched tray from this morning.

“Please tell them that I am fine and that I want them to go home and rest.” It was the first time you had spoken in hours after crying for so long, so your voice was very raspy and dry.

“I will get on that right away. You should try eating and resting your leg.” She slowly made her way to the exit and you heard her hand press against the sliding door to open it.

“Thank you for checking on me, but please leave me be.”

She remained silent as she walked out into the hallway, looking across the room at the back of your head. You continued to look out to the street, watching two birds perched on a tree near the building. They fluttered around and jumped from tree limb to tree limb, beginning to sing. Many other animals had also come out of hiding since the rain had stopped. “Oh, I almost forgot to mention something.” Chirped up the nurse, stopping the motion of the closing door. “Since you keep asking, I also came to tell you-” The birds took flight together, soaring into the dark sky.

  
  


_ “-Kakashi is awake and wishes to see you.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay okay, take a deep breath and shout at me all you want, BUT KAKASHI IS ALIVE!  
> All is well in Y/N's life, well... sort of.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you later for the next chapter!


End file.
